Early Wednesday morning as I headed to the Monon I saw a sign that read, “Who Stole Jesus?” This was not a spiritual sign that comes to you in a moment of clarity. It was a real sign in a real yard. The sign was the same style and size as the “Home For Sale” variety. It was professionally printed not written in marker. My first thought was, “I didn’t know he was stolen!” Was this THE Jesus Christ, son of God, or was he someone else… probably Hispanic… who happened to be given a powerful name? If it wasn’t the beginning of October I would immediately think someone hijacked a nativity scene. However we are in the midst of Indian summer and people are just gearing up for Halloween. Give it another week before stores start pushing JC’s B-day and decorations start to sprout. This appeared to be a message targeted to the people who frequent the intersection of Meridian Street and Kessler. Were they trying to reach the governor? Other people with money? I’ve since seen several more of the signs around town. So they are trying to get the word out. I’m not sure why they are being so subtle about it. This seems to be a big deal, given the stature of the guy who was nabbed.
I have to admit I didn’t know he’d come back. You’d think that would have made the nightly news. Our local stations are all so hungry to scoop a story I’m surprised we haven’t heard something like, “Breaking news from the west side! This just into our news room…JC is back and he’s been spotted in Indianapolis!” Not the case though. Somehow they missed this and the subsequent story about him being stolen. They were probably too focused on the Colts 0-4 start…or the possible renaming of Georgia Street.
It’s interesting that he opted to return in the Midwest rather than the Middle East. It is pretty here this time of year though. Maybe he wanted to do Brown County before heading over to Jerusalem. You know…take in the fall foliage, buy some apple butter, baptize a few people, and then go overseas after Thanksgiving. He kind of missed our holiday the first time around. It’s festive, it celebrates all the right things, and the parade is nice too. I’m sure he was interested in taking in a Colts game, but with Payton out for the year…not so much.
This is a mayoral election year in Indianapolis. There is only a month to go in race. You’d think Melina Kennedy would have jumped at the chance for a photo op. She could use a little divine intervention. Surly the Mayor’s office would have countered with something of their own…but no?
How does one steal him anyway? You’d think he’s be surrounded by a few people. Did someone sneak through the masses and slip a roofie into his glass of wine? Boy you are really throwing caution to the wind when you decide to steal a guy like that. Talk about Hell to pay. I doubt you have the big picture in mind. I mean this isn’t the Lindbergh baby. This is pretty high up there on the crime chart. What’s the motive? What’s the ransom? Who would be targeted for paying it? Probably the Vatican. How messy would that be? One minute you’re sitting around an apartment getting high with two guys like Seth Rogen. One of them makes the comment about how cool it would be to have more money than God. Then someone suggests kidnapping JC. You know because playing the lottery has poor odds and these days with the bad economy so does finding a job. So they bumble into pulling it off. They ask for ransom…something like gold, frankincense, myrrh…and three tickets to Montana. They hide in…Rocky Ripple to wait for the drop. The next thing they know they’ve got the Knights Templar on their tail and some church in Indianapolis has joined the search by posting signs all over the north side.
Wow and I thought my life was complicated.